• You’ll watch a whole hour of “Larry King Live” just because Ben Affleck is the guest.

• When the Red Sox win, it’s a beautiful day.  When they lose, it’s a horrible day.  When they lose but the Yankees lose, everything is okay. When they win and the Yankees lose, it’s like getting a blackjack!

• You screen the phone calls from your wife’s family from April until October because they’re Yankee Fans.

• When you hear a Yankee fan sneer, “You guy’s will never win anything, you’re cursed hahaha”…you understand how perfectly civilized people are capable of committing assault. 

• You know exactly when ESPN will show the Sox highlights and schedule your hour accordingly.

• You love when you’re at an airport and you see someone wearing a Red Sox hat.

• You hate when you approach this person to talk Sox and they say, “Oh, I don’t follow baseball, I just like these colors.”  (those people should have their Red Sox hat legally confiscated)

• You watch the Patriots celebrate a World Championship at City Hall Plaza and all you can keep thinking is “Grady bleeping Little!!!”

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Red Sox Jokes (from around the web):

Four baseball fans, each from a major league city, are climbing a mountain.
On the way to the top, each is arguing about how loyal they are to their team and what they would do for their team.
As the climb progresses, the odds increase. Upon reaching the top, the Mets fan shouts, "This is for the Mets," and hurls himself off the top.
Next the Brave fan yells, "I love Atlanta, this is for the Braves," and hurls himself off the mountain.
Suddenly the Red Sox fan yells "This is for everyone," and pushes the Yankees fan off .

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Q: What do you have when 100 Yankees fans are buried up to their neck in sand?

A: Not enough sand.

Q: What do Yankees fans use for birth control?

A: Their personalities.

Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer. My parents live in the suburb of Commerce City,
and one of my sisters, who lives in Lakewood, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Englewood.
My brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct.
I have recently become engaged. I love my fiancé and look
forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Yankees fan?

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